i am i am i am (2019)
Silkscreened muslin, projected video
“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart: I am, I am, I am. “ Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
I am I am I am is an attempt to contain what cannot be held. The installation tries to pin down the fleeting: a specific memory, a feeling, and consciousness, referencing briefness and ephemerality. The interaction between the net’s physical barrier and the momentary image symbolizes a desire to preserve the transient. The projection flips though scenes mimicking memory. These memories are without context, nonsensical, and mundane mirroring the forgettable moments that make up a life. Each fabricated memory is punctuated with visuals of fragility, newness, vitality, and preciousness represented by newly sprouted spring flowers. The vacillation between memory and symbology is reminiscent of the pattern of remembering: encapsulating all the times we come across a scene that reminds us of something, sinking us into our memory, then resurfacing to reality, and sinking back again.
This installation was inspired by knot folklore and magic. Sailors used knots to capture and release winds, European witches were believed to use knots to treat ailments, and in the case of Russian soldiers knots were believed to even prevent death Comparatively, Puritans were superstitious of the knot because they believed it could trap the human soul. The concept of a knot holding something precious, even a human soul, related to my own desire to hold and protect my own life, loved ones, and memories.
